Confessions from a race

Question - If you were running a race, putting in a full effort, would you rather piss your pants, or barf?  Keep reading for the answer.
So here's how things went down on Sunday.  I will try and leave the fluffy details out of it and be real.  However, I do have to say I am pretty jazzed to be back in the racing scene.  Watching everyone race, fast, medium, and slow, its still pretty sweet.  Plus it was cold, so kudos to all of us that got out there and ran :)

Jake and I got to St Paul with time to do a quick mile warm up ( slowly!) and stretch, and go to the bathroom - which I probably should have done.  When it was time to line up I made my way to the front of the pack to start on the front line.  I had looked at past results and was expecting a lot more women and people to be lined up, but I was kind of by myself.  It was fine and we took off.  Per usual, I made the rookie mistake of starting too fast.  A slight downhill + adrenaline = me burning out after mile 1*.  After that first mile, there was a gradual uphill through mile 2-2.5.  Once I saw my time slip to 7 min. around mile 2* I started to lose focus.  My head wasnt in a good place, and it took everything I had to not slow down even more, or stop and walk ( are you kidding me?!  It was a 5k, walking was NOT an option!).  It was also around this point that I realized my mistake of not going to the bathroom, and turns out, it's not very easy to hold your bladder when you are tring to run fast - shocker.

Also, it's no secret my mental game is weak, but I wasnt expecting this.  My head was being a big jerk this whole race.  I also was starting to feel a lot of tighness and couldnt get a deep breath, which caused what felt like my whole torso to tighten up.  I felt like if I pushed any harder I would have to pull over to the side and toss back up the banana I had eaten before the race.   I was first woman until about .25 miles to go and a girl passed me.  She told me to keep up and come along with her but I was done, I wanted to try, I really did, but the combination of my brain being a bully, the feeling of having to puke, and the fact that I may or may not have channeled my inner 3 year old and peed myself, I just wanted to finish in one piece.  So I did my best to run hard to the finish (*see the little nubbin time), and finished about 5 seconds behind the girl that passsed me. 

Fun fact!  The girl that passed me ran 22 miles the day before, that sure made me feel like a winner...good thing she was nice or I probably would have hated her

The thing about races is that you always, always learn something.  In this case I learned a lot. Up until now, all the races I've done have pretty much been for the heck of it.  I always wanted to do well, but never cared enough to really push myself.  This time is different.  I want to push myself, I want to try as hard as possible, I want to reach my goals more than anything.  I know this is just the first race, and I'm probably being WAY too dramatic, but this race made me realize that I have a lot of work to do.  I know my fitness will get there and everything is a work in progress, and chances are I will be saying these same things a year from now, but I have to figure out how to get my mind right.  I have 4 weeks to my next 5k race, and 8 until Fargo (insert freak out here!).

The plus side is that I recognize all of this.  I know exactly when my mind started to go to the dark side, I just have to learn to shut it down, and tell myself to focus and run.  Could I have stuck with a 6:45-6:50 pace had I not gone out fast - maybe, probably.  Would I have been more positive had that happend? - maybe.  Can I go back and get a re-do? - NOPE.  Just onward and upward.  I have to give myself credit that for the first race of the season, a 21:35 isnt too shabby (compare that with  last year's first race of 24:56) I would say I am happy with myself.

* Garmin time

So enough of the woe-is me, here are some pics from the day!

Start line of the 8k, me looking like a doofus, Nichole lookin' good!

Nichole coming down the finish, Jake in the upper right, and Nathan in the bottom right - looking great!

Hooray for the Irish Run!

Now that I think about it, maybe I shouldnt give up my diaper-butt Tempo shorts, I made need one for my next race